Beating Alpha

iterating towards truth


Approval junkies

I have written a short post about understanding your motives. In that post I have written about  the idea of understanding why we do things we do. Are we doing them to get approval from others or are we truly doing them for us. Understanding this is in my opinion one of the keys to happiness. So why is this post any different then the one I have written? I want to talk about one strong addiction. Addiction to approval. At some point in our life all parents and closest friends made a mistake. Many times not intentionally. Mistake that hit us deeply. Mistake that defined us for the eternity and beyond. Mistake we have stored deep down into our bone morrow. From that moment on, our insecurity has been stored there and has been manifested through approvals we seek. Difficult childhood, not getting enough love or attention? Psychologically abusive father that has never been satisfied with anything you have done? Not smart enough, not fast enough? All those emotions are stored deeply inside us and as we grow up they manifest in all our insecurities. In all approvals we seek from others. 

The problem with those approvals is that they are driving force that will at the end of the day not make us happy. It is like heroin addict. As long we will be able to get those approvals (the dose), things outside of our control, we will be kinda happy (addict is happy). But the moment we will stop getting it, the moment we will be tired or not capable anymore for whatever reason, our sole existence is suddenly based on approvals we can no longer attain to. On objects that are outside of or control. But we can twist it. 

We can start looking what approvals we seek and turn them around. By understanding what approvals we seek, we can start doing things for the right reasons and get free for the first time from them. We can start doing things for us. It is a journey, many times not a nice one, but it is a journey to happiness based on internals, not external factors like approval of others. We can stop being approval junkies once for all and start living for the right reasons.

Leave a Reply