Accepting old beliefs and building new ones
Over the years from childhood to adulthood we build masks and patterns (beliefs) that define us. After we climb at our first mountain (achieve things we always thought will make us happy and achieve success from the society point of view) we realize that lots of these beliefs were false beliefs created to get approval of others, to get their love, to avoid fears and not to get hurt. We have to start unlearning those old beliefs and learning start learning new one. I believe it is our journey in the life we got to learn from this experience. One thing I have been experiencing on this journey has been the sense of accepting whatever fear I have. In the past I was mainly absorbed by the fear and then try to avoid it at all cost but recently I have found out that what we resist, persists. The more we resist it, the stronger it gets. Whenever I feel I am worried or scared, I immediately change my approach and rather then resisting and try to welcome my fear and accept that I can have this fear. I am allowing myself all spectrum of emotions not judging myself anymore. I also try to understand what belief triggered this particular response.
Great little example is boardgames that I used to play as a child. Except for few, I have never liked them too much as a child. My old belief was that if I play them, I have to compete with others, I will lose and people will think about me that I am stupid and since I have build the image (mask) of being smart, I will be called out. Busted! In front of everyone, laughed, embarrassed and I would lose their love. Of course this is a nonsense but it is funny what beliefs we create and we don’t even know it. After I would start playing any of the boardgames I would pretend how I don’t care about the outcome, I would make fun of the game only to mask my insecurity of being scared to be seen as stupid when not performing well in the game. Funny right? By formulating my old belief, accepting I can totally feel like that but it is not necessary anymore, I could create new belief that says: I feel no shame in losing or not knowing, I am not judging myself, I don’t care if others judge me and I should play to have maximum amount of fun. I allowed myself to be vulnerable by accepting my limitations, my old belief by defining new one. New that will serve me well and will be set from the position of love, not from the position of fear.